


The World Just Loves To Screw Me Over

by MollieExhumed



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Anger, Angst, Fem!Eren, Friends With Benefits, Levi/Erwin Smith - Freeform, Multi, Nightmares, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-02-21 03:02:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2452373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MollieExhumed/pseuds/MollieExhumed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After years of nightmares, Eren doesn't know what to do when she is confronted with proof that they are real. I<br/>REWRITE POSTED--"COPING MECHANISMS"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolouge

Eren had never been a normal child, growing up she would have terrifying nightmares about man-eating giants and people living inside tall walls, cut off from the rest of the world. She dreamt of a life full of tragedy and despair, where children enlisted in the army with a hope for safety, where food was scarce, and people selfish. Many nights she would wake her sleeping parents with horrifying screams and cries, but no matter what they tried, the Jaegers could never get their baby girl to wake up from the terrible dreams. All the helpless parents could do was hold their daughter and watch her cry and scream in her sleep until her nightmare would subside, and she would wake up and cry into their chests.  
As she grew she began to avoid sleep if at all possible. When the young insomniac got to elementary, she kept to herself during recess, and worked hard to earn good marks. Carla Jaeger worried about her daughter’s lack of a social life but no matter how hard she tried to get Eren to interact with other children, Eren would stay by herself.  
When Eren was eight, tragedy struck the Jaeger family; Carla lost the fight against brain cancer. Eren had been at the hospital bed to watch her mother take her last breaths. After the funeral Eren didn’t see much of her father, Carla’s treatments had sent the family into a crippling debt, so Grisha took all the hours he could at the doctor’s office that he worked at, and even opened up a private practice to bring in some more money. Eren adjusted to life on her own with practiced grace, cleaning, cooking, and shopping were all done by her. She stayed on top of her studies, even going as far as teaching herself other things like languages, instruments, and fighting styles from around the world. Grisha tried to be around as much as possible, always feeling guilty for leaving Eren on her own, but assured him she was fine and thanked him for working so hard so that she could grow up well, because “that’s what mom would’ve wanted.”  
As Eren grew she became more and more recluse, she had no friends and didn’t talk to anyone on her errands unless she had to. As high school approached, Grisha became more and more worried about her future.


	2. High School: Freshman Year Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's first day of High School  
> Eren's realizes her nightmares are memories

Eren sighed as she finished pulling her hair into its signature style, half left to tumble down her chest and half pulled back into a ponytail, with her side fringe left to fall in front of her face. It was the cerulean-eyed teen’s first day of high school. She checked the clock, reading 7:53 she threw a flannel on over her plain black shirt, eyes watering still from her rushed job with black eyeliner. She grabbed her travel mug filled with highly caffeinated breakfast tea and her Viking Red Jansport backpack, and headed out the door.

The September air felt cool on her face as she made her way towards Trost High School. As she got closer to the school she saw groups of excited teens walking together and smiling, enjoying their reunion after a busy summer. Eren’s black combat boots made determined thumps with every step she took. The weather reminded her, vaguely, of her dream last night, she had been fortunate to have such a calming dream. She had dreamt of Boy-Eren, Armin, and Mikasa, Boy-Eren’s childhood friends, sitting on boxes near a river or stream of sorts talking about the world beyond the walls and the ocean. When Eren had woken up this morning she was convinced that it would be an important day for her. The good dreams were always good omens, as there were very few.

Eren climbed the steps to the second floor where she would have her first class, Chemical and Physical Science, or CPS for short. She settled down in a seat in the back of the room near the window and watched the birds fly as she waited for her classmates and teacher, Mr. Casillas, to arrive so class could start. Slowly, but surely, students began filing into the room, and sat down with their friends to finish discussing their summers, before the teacher arrived. The room became loud with all the chatter and no one seemed to notice Mr. Casillas had entered, wrote his name on the board, and was standing at the front of the room, waiting for them to quiet down so he could start.

“Hello freshman! Welcome to your first class of your first day of High School, it is an honor to be sharing this memorable moment with you all!” Mr. Casillas declared.

“As you know today we have shortened periods so we can get the syllabus’ out of the way and so you can get supplies for tomorrow, which will be your first day of classes,” he reminded the class, “so, let us begin!”

Eren quietly took notes as Mr. Casillas informed the class of what to expect from the class throughout the year, his expectations, and what items would be necessary to bring to school each day. This routine continued through all of Eren’s eight classes. This year she would be taking Advanced CPS, English Honors, Advanced Geometry, Health/Gym, Advanced World History, First Year Latin Honors, Study Hall, and Advanced First Year Business. When the day finally ended, Eren sat under a tree in front of the school to read Pride and Prejudice, because she had no desire to head home yet when the weather was so nice.

“Hey!” A shout startled Eren from her reading, “You’re reading one of my favorite books!”

Eren looked up and felt her blood drain from her face. Standing in front of her was a baby-faced boy, with blond hair that fell to his shoulders and fringe that covered his forehead. He was wearing wide frame glasses, jeans that were cuffed at the bottom, a red t-shirt, and had a flannel wrapped around his waist. Eren stared at the boy in shock, mouth agape as she tried to process the fact that she now had living proof that her nightmares were real. 

“…Hey, are you okay?”

“Armin,” Eren whispered.

The boy’s eyes went wide with sock and his brow furrowed in confusion. He turned furiously to face a girl Eren hadn’t previously noticed. Eren’s heart hammered in her chest as she took in the girls appearance. She was tall and skinny and had long, shiny black hair, a piece of hair fell in between her slate eyes. She wore a medium length blue dress with an oversized, white cardigan overtop. Eren felt tears run down her face as she stared at the two in disbelief.

“Mikasa,” she whispered again.

The girl’s eyes narrowed in on hers critically, brow furrowed in confusion, but then there was a spark of recognition in her eyes and her face emanated disbelief.

“Oh god,” she said as tears also slipped off her face, “Eren.”

Mikasa ran towards a now hysterical Eren and entrapped her in her arms, crying as well while holding her and rocking them back and forth. Eren looked up at the sobbing Armin and motioned for him to join their hug. 

The three of them sat under that tree holding each other even after they finished crying, just basking in the comfort of each other’s presence. Eren felt contentment in being comforted after being alone for so long, in the sense of belonging Armin and Mikasa gave her after feeling so out of place. 

“Do you want to come home with me,” Eren asked after the group finally stopped hugging, “I think we have a lot to talk about.”

Mikasa and Armin laughed and agreed and they began to walk to Eren’s house, reminiscing of happier times behind the walls.


	3. High School: Freshman Year Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren, Armin, and Mikasa bond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this and for all the kudos, they're appreciated!

“So you really didn’t remember anything before today?” Eren asked Armin.  
“Yeah, after I recognized your eyes, the memories just flashed in front of me and the next thing I knew you were hugging Mikasa and I was sobbing,” Armin responded softly, looking down at his lap. “It must have been terrible for you, to have to grow up with all those terrible memories and no one who understood and could comfort you.”  
“It wasn’t that bad, I mean, I had a feeling my dreams most likely stemmed from truth, they were too vivid to be just my imagination, but I had no idea that those things actually happened, that those things were actually memories of my past life; where I was a boy,” Eren added as an afterthought.  
“I used to have dreams about our childhood; I remembered life with my parents, when Eren killed those two men to save me, then my life with the Jaegers, but I didn’t remember the fall of Wall Maria or anything thereafter,” Mikasa added between sips of herbal tea.  
Both Mikasa and Armin had walked home with Eren. They told her about their current lives as they sat together in Eren’s kitchen, drinking tea and eating sugar cookies.  
Armin told them that he lived with his parents and his grandfather, but that his parents travelled a lot for their business, so he only saw them about five months out of a year. Eren and Mikasa also learned that he loved to read anything and everything, and Armin was so smart that he had skipped a grade in elementary school; so he was a year younger than Eren and Mikasa. Armin informed them that he wants to be an Oceanologist, and plans to go to college to study it. Eren smiled at that, pleased to hear that Armin had still held onto a love for the ocean, despite not remembering anything of his past life.  
Mikasa share that she lived with both her parents and wanted to become a surgeon, because, in this life, her parents were doctors with their own private practice. They helped anyone who needed medical attention but couldn’t afford a hospital bill. Mikasa proudly informed Eren and Armin of how they would never turn anyone away, no matter how shady their character may seem. She also, like Eren, enjoyed learning different fighting styles, though she didn’t know nearly as many as Eren did.  
Armin and Mikasa were dejected when they learned of Carla’ passing and Grisha’s absence in Eren’s life, but Eren assured them that Grisha did his best to provide for her in their current money situation. Armin and Mikasa nodded noncommittally at that.  
“When did you two find each other?” Eren asked, successfully changing the topic of conversation.  
“Well, I met Mikasa at lunch today; she came to my tale and asked to sit with me. From there we just began talking like we had been friends forever,” Armin explained, “seems kind of ironic now.”  
Eren chuckled, “have you met anyone else from our past lives?”  
“I haven’t, why? Are you hoping to see someone again?” Armin asked.  
“No, I mean, maybe… it’s just that if this all real… maybe… I could find Levi…” Eren’s face flushed light pink as the words fell from her mouth.  
“Still pining Eren?” Mikasa teased.  
“No! It’s just, this is like a second chance… maybe this time I have a chance… with him.” Eren hides her face in her hands, embarrassed to be admitting to feelings she’d kept to herself since she’d met Levi, thousands of years ago.  
“I hope you find him, then,” Mikasa said, surprising Eren, “you’re right, this is your second chance. You weren’t able to be happy last time because of the situation you were thrown into, you deserve to be happy this time around to be loved. Maybe in this life he’ll be closer to our age.”  
“Yeah… maybe,” Eren murmured with a pained smile on her face.  
“Ugh, I got to go Eren,” Armin said as he packed up his stuff to go, “Gramps needs me back home for dinner, I’ll see you tomorrow!”  
Eren and Mikasa watched as their long lost friend scurried out the door, smiling at his fading figure.

“I suppose I should get going as well, Tou-san and Kaa-san will get worried,” Mikasa told Eren, “Will you be okay?”  
“Me? Of course Mikasa, when am I not?” Eren asked with a playful grin before showing her friend to the door and watching her leave as well.  
Eren stood at the door staring at nothing in particular as she sighed and took in all that had happened. Her nightmares had come true, but she wasn’t alone anymore, she had Armin and Mikasa, she wasn’t alone. Her first friends in this life, it felt strange but familiar at the same time.   
Eren headed inside the little house and right for her room at the top of the stairs. She collapsed on the bed, exhausted from her day, and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this is short and seems kinda slow at the moment it'll pick up soon, hopefully. Please be prepared for some crazy time jumps, there's going to be quite a few until Eren gets to college, that's where the story with Levi and Jean will really pick up.


	4. High School:Freshman Year Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a filler  
> Time lapse

Eren’s freshman year flew by too quickly for her to recollect, she was the busiest she’d ever been and she accounted it to the fact that she actually had friends and a social life for the first time since she’d been reborn. Armin, Mikasa, and Eren did everything together and were never seen alone unless they were in class—the three didn’t have any classes together. For the first time in Eren’s life, she didn’t feel completely alone and abnormal, it was nice, for lack of a better word. 

Throughout the year Eren had kept on top of her grades, never letting them drop below a B-, and started numerous traditions with her new found friends, like their weekly study-sleepover at Eren’s house on Saturday night and Mikasa and Eren’s sparring sessions every other Tuesday. Armin even made the three of them start their own mini book club since they all seemed to like to read. There was never really a dull moment for the three as they enjoyed their first year in high school, and their first year as friends.

Although Eren felt content with Armin and Mikasa, she couldn’t help but long for Levi. She had developed a stupid crush on him in her past life, and even though she’d never old a soul about it, she had a feeling Levi had known about her infatuation. Eren knew, then, that it was hopeless because Levi was much too old for him, there was no way they could ever have a comfortable, romantic relationship. Eren had accepted that back then, mostly because his love life was not a very pressing matter, what with all the titans running around, killing everyone he loved and cared for. But now, in this life, Eren had no overly pressing issues, the world was safe, she had her friends, her father, and she didn’t turn into a giant when she bit her thumb, so she felt she could afford to dabble into thoughts of romance and could waste time longing for a man she wasn’t even positive still existed.

Eren let her mind wander to Levi as she walked down the street clutching her groceries, she wondered what he would look like, if he would act differently in this new world, if he was her age, or older, or even younger, if he had family or lived on his own, if he had drams for the future or felt stuck in the past. She worried over his well-being, hoping if he was reborn as well, that he was safe, that he was health, that he finally got the happiness Eren knew he deserved. 

Eren passed by a few more shops before she entered the neighborhood next to her own, it was midday in May and the sun was shining brightly in the sky, Eren took in the outdoors around her and the smiling faces of the others who were doing the same.

“Stupid dogs! Get away from here!” Some lady to Eren’s right screamed from her front porch, waving a broom at two fleeing dogs. “Next time I catch you; my husband’s going to kill you mutts!”

Eren watched as one dog, which looked like a boxer pit-bull mix, followed the other brown retriever-looking one to the edge of the street where a car was headed their way. Desperately Eren ran to the opposite side of the road and tackled the dogs onto the nasty lady’s lawn. 

“Damn mutts,” Eren panted, “don’t you know to look before you cross, where are your owners?”

The two dogs looked up at the panting teen mesmerized, Eren looked into their eyes and her images of chocolate-eyed brunette eating a potato and an amber-eyed boy with a crew cut laughing ran through her mind as she stared into the mutts’ eyes. Connie. Sasha.

When the dogs were knocked out of their stupor and brought back to reality, they began furiously licking Eren’s face, whining, and whimpering. Their tails wagging so hard their entire bodies moved with them.

“Okay, okay, yeah, I know, I missed you guys too,” Eren laughed, petting the hysterical canines, “well you may as well come home with me, there’s no way in hell I’m going to leave you here.”

The dogs whined again and got off of Eren to allow her to get up so she could lead them home.

“Let’s make this quick, I am without a doubt that you’re both starving,” Eren instructed.

Connie and Sasha followed Eren through the neighborhood, tails wagging, smiles plastered on their faces, and tongues hanging out the sides of their mouths. Eren led hem through the streets of houses until they finally stopped in front a small, brown, two-story house.

“Welcome home,” Eren beamed at them, “Mikasa and Armin are going to be so happy when I tell them I found you.”


	5. High School: Sophmore Year Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Huge time-lapse  
> Erwin is introduced and you catch up on Eren's life

“Eren! Wake up; we’re already going to be late.”

Eren’s eyes fluttered awake, taking in a long sigh and a yawn, she sat up and stretched her lower back, reaching her arms up and tilting her head back before dropping her arms and looking up to her friend who was standing in the doorway of her room. Mikasa had on a pair of light blue jeans, an orange floral blouse, and a black lightweight jacket, her bag was stung over her shoulder and her hair was up in a messy bun; allowing her bangs to fall in front of her face. The Japanese girl wore a look of impatience as she stared at her half-awake best friend.

“Huh? Late for what?” Eren asked.

“School, idiot, did you forget that we start our sophomore year today?” Mikasa grilled, her eyes zeroing in on the brunette teen.

“What? Shit!” Eren jumped up from the bed a dashed to the closet; trying to find something quick to slip on. Mikasa rolled her eyes at her friend’s erratic behavior, mumbling something about tea before exiting the room, leaving Eren to get herself ready.

Grabbing a pair of dark jeans and a loose-fitting white tank top, Eren quickly changed and threw her knotty, brown hair into a bun¬—similar to the one Mikasa was sporting—before dabbing concealer under her eyes, to cover the purple bags she had not sleeping, and carefully drawing black eyeliner on her waterline and topline, finishing with mascara. Eren grabbed her Jansport bag and headed downstairs, where Mikasa was waiting with her tea, petting, the now fed, Connie and Sasha.  
Mikasa and Eren had made it to school in record time, eleven minutes to be exact, and had narrowly made it into their respective classrooms before the bell rang. Eren’s first class was English so she had left Mikasa at the stairwell after wishing her a good first day and agreeing to meet up at lunch. The English room was kind of stuffy and there weren’t many seats left when Eren entered the room, so she was forced to take one in the front. Repeating the same first day ritual as the year before, she took notes on the syllabus and made sure to keep track of what supplies she needed for each class. 

Before long it was time for lunch— even though it was ten o’clock in the morning—so Eren made her way to the side of the school where she, Armin, and Mikasa had eaten last year and sat on the steps. It felt like her freshman year had come and gone in almost no time at all; Eren blamed it on always having had things to do. She had ended with A’s and B’s but one C in World History, but felt she had worked her hardest so she didn’t let it get her too upset, history had always been her worst subject anyway.

“Eren!” Warm arms draped around her and pulled her against an equally warm chest. Eren smiled content in the arms of her friend.

“Hey Armin, how’s your first day back in this hell hole been?” Eren asks.

“It’s great, I love my Classic Literature class, Erwin’s in my class, remember from last year? He’s a senior now.” Armin enthuses.

“Armin, he was also my commander in the past life, of course I remember him.” Eren says.

“Oh right, I always forget that, he’s just so different now, all laid back and easy to talk to.” 

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Eren sighs leaning into Armin a little more as two sets of footsteps walk toward them, revealing themselves as Mikasa’s and Erwin’s when they become visible.

“Well, speak of the devil,” Eren chuckles, “hey Erwin, heard you and Armin got that book class together.”

Erwin smiles easily, nodding to the sophomore before burying his face into is phone, reading and then furiously typing.

“Who are you texting so enthusiastically?” Eren asks.

“Just a, uh, friend I grew up with, he moved to Sina before we started high school, but he’s moving back this weekend, so he’ll be joining me for senior year,” Erwin positively beams up at Eren, happiness radiating from the large blonde.

“Oh? Just a friend you say?” Eren smirks at the now blushing Erwin.

“Well, yeah, I don’t know, we’re closer than friends but we’re no, like, dating or anything,” Erwin explains.

“Ah, but you want to be don’t you?”

“Maybe, I don’t know, I never really thought about dating much, but I am most comfortable with him, and it’s not like he’s unattractive,” Erwin flushes as he tries to explain himself.

Eren laughs at the man’s flustered expression, amused by the person her commander was now. Armin was right, it’s easy to forget that he was once an intimidating high-ranked military official that led an army into battles against giants, now he’s just a big, happy pacifist who tended to get very attached to the people he cared about.

“Well, all the best to you,” Eren tells him, with distant eyes, “I hope you get the happiness you deserve.”

Erwin smiles warmly, “Thank you, Eren.”

Mikasa smiled at our interaction before she began to tell the group about her day so far. Eren sat silently staring off into the sky as her friends chatted. Erwin still hadn’t recognized her, and though it had been confirmed that he remembered his past life, he never talked about it. Eren wondered if he was upset by it greatly or if he just didn’t want to dabble in the horrendous nightmare of a life they’d had and chose to stay in the present, neither really mattered to her, but she did get curious sometimes.  
Eren, herself, would mention the past, but she always changed the subject if Mikasa or Armin tried to get her to talk about it. When they asked her what happened after they died, she had shut down, refusing to answer any specific questions. Specific questions brought back memories of things she preferred not to remember. When Eren had nightmares, and was woken up by Connie or Sasha, she would kick the out of her room, not wanting their questioning, worried eyes digging holes into her.   
Lunch ended and the rest of the day flew by. Eren met Mikasa and Armin outside the school and they began to walk home, Armin told Eren and Mikasa about the rest of his classes and teachers, while Mikasa talked about her girls fitness class that she was all excited about, as they neared the street where Armin and Mikasa turned and left Eren to walk herself the rest of the way home, the three made plans to get school supplies together later that afternoon.

Eren entered her house and was greeted by her two large, canine friends jumping on her and pushing her onto the ground, Connie holding her there and Sasha furiously licking her face, both their tails wagging incessantly. Their eyes met hers begging for her to tell them about her day. Eren chuckled and set her backpack down before sitting to the couch and reciting her day to Connie and Sasha as she stroked Sasha’s head, which lay in her lap.


	6. High School: Sophomore Year Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin gets a surprise, so does Eren.

**Incoming Message**

**Mikasa**

**I’m not going to be able to walk with you this morning, Kaa-san took me to breakfast, and yes I’ll get you tea. But be sure you’re at school on time.**

Eren groaned, squinting at the too bright screen of her phone, it was currently 7:00 a.m., and she did not feel like getting up after having only had three and a half hours of sleep thanks to nightmares. Eren shoved her face into her pillow and attempted to fall back asleep, but after discovering that it was indeed futile, she rolled out of bed and walked down the stairs to meet her two happy, hungry dogs smiling at her.

“Alright, alright, I know you’re hungry. You don’t have to stand there looking all innocent and happy.” Eren scolded her friends.

She opened two cans of wet dog food and put them in their respective dishes before quickly getting out of the way as the two large dogs dove into their breakfast. Chuckling, Eren turned away and headed back upstairs to her room to get ready for school. Upon entering, she saw that her room was a mess.

‘Levi would not approve,’ she thought to herself, a small melancholy smile finding its way onto her face. Her talk with Erwin the day before had caused her thoughts to become even more Levi-centric, but what could she do, she’d been in love with the guy for forever, literally, she just hadn’t wanted to admit it. However, Eren couldn’t deny the warm, content feeling she felt when she remembered time she had spent with Levi and the memories she had of him. Eren wanted nothing in the world more than she wanted to meet Levi again, to see him, to talk to him, to hear him, to feel him. She felt so empty, even with Armin and Mikasa and even Erwin, she still felt like something was missing, like something that was supposed to be there, wasn’t.

Shaking off thoughts of Levi, Eren tidied her room as best she could in a half hour before turning to her closet to find something to wear. She decided on black leggings, a long, short-sleeved purple shirt, and grey-brown combat boots. Eren did her hair in the usual half up- half down and applied her everyday makeup. Once satisfied with her appearance, Eren grabbed her backpack, newly stocked with school supplies for the year, bid Connie and Sasha goodbye, and left her house to begin her walk to school.

Regardless of Eren’s effort to walk slowly to school, and enjoy the nice September weather, she still arrived at school fifteen minutes early. Sighing, Eren settled down at a bench outside the main entrance to the school, and pulled out her book, The Glass Castle, and began to read.

“Hey! Eren!” A boy named Danny called to Eren, pulling her attention away from her book. Danny was a pretty popular kid who happened to be in a lot of Eren’s classes, he and his girlfriend, Delilah, always invited Eren to parties and get-togethers, even though Eren rarely accepted. “So I holding a welcome-back party at my house tonight, lucky school started on a Thursday this year, so it works out perfectly. Me Li’ would love it if you swung by! It’ll be fun, I promise.”

Eren shrugged, “I’ll think about it.”

“Alright, sounds good! Text me if you end up deciding to come!” Danny called as he and Delilah ran off to greet more of their friends.

                Eren watched the couple leave and pulled out her phone from the front pocket of her backpack to check to time. It was 8:45 and Armin and Mikasa would be arriving soon, so Eren headed to the edge of the parking lot to meet them. She swerved through the multitude of cars parked and dodged the cars that were parking. As she made her way to the back rows of cars, she saw Erwin, or more specifically Erwin’s back as he made out with the person he had pressed between himself and his parked civic. Eren wolf-whistled to her older acquaintance, a smirk prominent on her face.

                Erwin whipped around in surprise, allowing the other party to come into view. Eren felt like she’d been hit by a truck, a crushing force was applied to her chest; she felt as if a hundred pound weight had been put on top of her, keeping her from being able to breathe, tears pricked at her ocean eyes, as she stood gaping like a fish. Eren felt her heart break; just completely shatter, into a million irreparable pieces. Standing, with his back pressed up against Erwin’s car, was Levi, _her_ Levi _,_ and he stared back at her with an annoyed scowl, as if she were some uninvited intruder. He still had the same undercut, his longer hair pushed to the front left of his head, exposing the black stud he had going through his ear. He wore a dark purple soft, flow-y shirt, tight, black leather pants, a three-quarter sleeved black leather jacket, and black combat boots.

“O-oh, Eren,” Erwin stuttered, face bright red, “uh, this is that friend I was telling you about yesterday, he decided to surprise me by coming earlier than expected.”

“Oh,” Eren said; her voice significantly quieter as she schooled the heartbreak she felt, “I guess things worked out for you then.”

“Oh, haha, yeah, I guess they did,” Erwin replied with a sheepish smile.

“I really have to go, see you later,” Eren rushed off as more tears pricked at her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks.

She shuffled through the maze of cars until she got to the edge of the parking lot; she stopped at the sidewalk, unsure of what to do next. She looked both ways and ran in the direction of her house; she wouldn’t be able to last through a day school in her current condition. She felt her heart and chest tighten up as she ran, but she pushed on, running hard toward her destination. Wind blew harshly against her face, making it flush a punitive red. The tears that had built up in her eyes were pushed back, running along her lower temple as her eyes were dried. Her mouth was filled with cool air, cooling and dehydrating it, her teeth became icy and sensitive and the back of her throat became cool and scratchy as she huffed out warm breaths.

When she reached her house she fumbled around for the key around her neck and hurriedly unlocked the front door, throwing her bag onto the floor of the entryway, she slammed the door behind her. Eren scampered up the stairs and threw herself onto her bad after slamming her bedroom door shut behind her.

Eren curled into herself as she laid on her unmade bad, she sniffled, her nose runny from running in the chilly weather. Tears build up in her eyes, but none fell.

**Incoming Message**

**Mikasa**

**Where are you? I have your tea, I got you Assam.**

Assam, Levi’s favorite tea, that’s why Eren liked drinking it. She sniffled some more.

**Incoming Message**

**Mikasa**

**Eren, I’m so sorry.**

Eren’s body shook with double breaths, her intake of breath having spasms— as if she was sobbing— but no tears fell. She lay on her side; her face turned slightly into her bed as her knees curled into her chest, she crossed her arms across her chest. Her sheets smelt of her body wash; some clean water scent. The saliva in her mouth become thick and tasted faintly of salt. Eren nestled into her soft, green blanket, Connie and Sasha clawed at the door and whined worriedly.

Eren didn’t know how long she stayed like that, just thinking and drowning in self-pity.

“Fuck this,” she mused suddenly.

**Message Sent**

**Danny**

**I’m coming. What’s your address?**


	7. High School: Sophomore Year Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren goes to a party and learns why adult warn their kids not to drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, updates will vary depending on school, I've had a shit ton of tests these past couple weeks so writing was hard.  
> Also WARNING: there is a little smut in this chapter, it is my first time writing smut of any kind so please be nice .  
> Enjoy the chapter!

Danny’s party was off the walls, I could barely hear myself think. Some electronic song with a deafening beat poured out of expensive speakers and filled the crowded house. Balloons covered the floors of the living room, dining room, and kitchen and kids tossed them through the air. Some danced, covered in sweat and alcohol from the drinks they held, some talked amongst each other about boys, girls, sports, and the like. Everyone was drinking from multi-colored Solo cups, and the house smelled like body odor and weed.

I stood awkwardly in the corner, pressed up against a wall, second-guessing my decision to show up come in the first place, this was not my typical, comfortable scene. I don’t know how these parties worked and barely knew anyone there. I half wished that I had Mikasa and Armin with me, but immediately decided that it was better they weren’t here. I eyed around the room, looking for any place to attempt a social interaction.

“Hey,” a voice came from beside me. I turned around and was faced with a teenage boy that looked about my age. He had long, light brown hair in a kind of flipped bowl that was actually really cute, in my opinion, his eyes were a warm blue-grey color, and he had lightly tanned skin with a few freckles falling over his nose and cheeks. The boy smiled at me with a slight flush of intoxication painted on his cheeks and held out a Solo cup to me.

“You looked out of place, I figured you could use drink and someone to talk to,” he explained, “I’m Cato.”

“Eren,” I said and smiled slightly at him. I decided it would be best if I took the cup from his outstretched hand and grabbed the cup from Cato’s hand and took a small, hesitant sip, unsure of how the alcohol would taste, “Thanks.”

“So, you go to Trost?” He asked after I took another small sip of the fruity mixed drink—that was so sweet the burn of alcohol was barely noticeable.

“Yeah, that’s how I know Danny, we have a class together,” I told him.

“Makes sense, I’m actually from Rineburry; it’s a few towns over, but I know Danny from Lacrosse camp.” He smiled again at me and leaned his shoulder against the wall that I had my back on, taking a sip of whatever beverage he was getting buzzed on.

“Oh, yeah cool, what position do you play?” Mikasa always told me the best way to not look stupid in social situations was to ask questions and seem like you genuinely care about the answer. It seemed like she was right because Cato smiled at me some more before answering.

“Usually right-center, but sometimes I like to play defense. What about you what do you like to do?” Cato moved a bit closer to me as the music in the next room got louder.

“Nothing too interesting, a friend of mine and I like sparring, I’ve learned a couple different fighting styles just because,” I replied, finding myself enjoying the boys company.

Cato and I spent a while talking about school and fitness and the internet—typical things that all dumb high school students seemed to have in common— and I found that I really, really liked talking to him, now that could be that alcohol talking, but I’d only had one drink so I was only buzzed. Cato was easy to talk to and also had a lot of ideas I thought were worth sharing. We’d laughed and bickered and tested each other like long-time friends do and it felt completely natural, so when he moved closer to me again, I didn’t push him away.

I knew what he wanted, he was a teenage boy who had been hitting on me for the past hour under the influence of a bit of alcohol, I wasn’t stupid—and I’d been a boy before so I knew even better— but it didn’t bother me. I mean, the love of my past life would never be with me, he was gay, was before and still is, and last time I checked I had a vagina, so if I wanted to have a boy treat me the way Levi would never treat me, then God damn it I was going to do so. I needed to move on, and Cato, this funny, cute, and friendly guy was willing to be the one to help me, and I was going to take advantage of that fact.

Cato’s sapphire eyes started down at me as he pressed his forehead against mine, I could feel the few droplets of sweat that adorned his forehead join my own on my forehead and was momentarily grossed out. His eyes were half lidded and his cheeks were a slight shade of pink, slowly, he pressed his nose along the side of my nose and hesitantly pressed his lips to mine. I shyly returned the innocent but lingering kiss, which he took as permission to begin kissing me more passionately. I had never been kissed like this before, in either of my lives, it was strange, Cato moved his lips against mine almost massaging them and I clumsily tried to return the movements with equal practice.

Cato stuck his tongue out and swiped it across my lower lip, surprising me, and I gasped, he took advantage of my open mouth and began exploring it with his tongue, it was really weird, but not at all unpleasant. Small gasps and negligible moans escaped my mouth as he worked through it. Suddenly he pulled away and chuckled at my expression.

“Come on,” he said pulling my wrist, “let’s go somewhere else.”

It had to be the alcohol this time, but I nodded back to him and allowed him to pull me up the stairs and into one of the myriad of guest bedrooms Danny’s house seemed to have. Cato flicked on the lights and pulled me inside, closing and locking the door behind us. He turned to me and sat me down on the edge of the full bed before sitting next to me and once again connecting our lips in an open-mouthed kiss, that I believed was called a ‘French kiss’.

When we both began to run low on air, Cato detached himself from my mouth and began trailing kissed down my jaw and neck, causing me to tilt my head upwards to give him easier access. As he neared the spot where my neck and shoulder meet, he began softly nipping and licking, bring out sounds from me that I wasn’t even aware that I could make. He began trailing is hands up from my hips to right below my breasts slowly and lightly, making me crave more contact. I had my left hand holding his shoulder and my right balancing myself on the bed.

I began to lower my back onto the bed and pulled Cato on top of me; he kept his hands on my hips and straddled me, his lips not breaking the contact from my neck. As his hands brushed the sides of my breasts I let out a choked giggle and he pulled back from my neck with lustful eyes and a lazy smile.

“What’s so funny?” He asked chuckling back at me and nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck.

“You were touching me so lightly, it tickled,” I giggled, the alcohol had completely relaxed me and I felt nothing but a loopy bliss.

“Hmm” he hummed into my neck, earning another giggle from me, causing him to chuckle in retaliation, and before I knew it we were pressed together and laughing as we kissed and placed tentative touches along each other’s torsos. Soon he was shirtless and pulling off my shirt and I didn’t even care, I was too full of happiness and lust. He massaged my breasts and began sucking a nipple lightly making me arch my back and sigh contentedly; his hands moved to my ass and began lightly kneading it. I threaded my fingers through his long, dusty locks and entangled our legs together as he began working on my other nipple.

Cato’s hands trailed down my stomach to the zipper of my jeans and unzipped the fly; he reached his hand into my pants and cupped my sex through my faintly damp panties and began flexing and straightening his middle finger. I groaned at the new feeling paired with the attentions he was giving my breasts. I began to move my hips in small circles against his hand and pulled his face back up to my lips. Cato’s hand gradually had me coming undone, he moved his hand into my underwear and I sighed in pleasure at the contact and arched my back; separating our lips.

Feeling slightly bolder, I trailed my hand down Cato’s side and cupped his hardener shaft through his skinny jeans, and he moaned like a seasoned porn star as I began move my hand around fondling him. He hurriedly pulled away to undo his pants and slide them down his toned legs and then pulled my own off of me. I grabbed at the waistline of his boxers and tentatively reached into them and groped him with a light hold as he began rubbing circles on my clit. I pressed my forehead to his shoulder and began jerking him off slowly and lightly, still unsure of what I was doing, but not really caring either.

“Shit, Eren, fuck, speed up a bit, you’re killing me with the slow pace,” he instructed.

“Oh, sorry,” I slurred back and sped up my jerking, “I’ve never done this kinda thing before.”

“Nng, you’re doing great,” he praised, “fuck.”

As he got closer to his own release, Cato began to finger my clit, slipping a finger into the slick that had built up from is ministrations, it felt really strange, and then he curled his finger and hit something that had me moaning and breathing in pants as I struggled to keep my tempo the same. Cato moaned and his lips once again attacked my neck. I moaned and panted, unsure of how much longer I could go.

“Ng, coming Eren,” Cato warned me and his warm sperm trailed down his dick and pooled on top of the fist I had wrapped around him.

“A-ah,” I sighed as I felt my own climax hit me like a wave of euphoria. And as soon as the wave past and my breathing became regulated, exhaustion rolled in and I curled into myself with my back pressed up against Cato, whom had collapsed beside me after he recovered from his own release. Alcohol and the post-orgasmic glow rendered me unable to comprehend what just happened and I allowed sleep to overcome me.


	8. Rewrite Posted

Hi guys, if you're still following this story, thank you so much for your support! 

I know it's been a while since I've written anything, I've been struggling with some mental health issues but I've been getting help and I'm starting to write again.

Anyway the reason I'm posting is because I just posted the first chapter of the rewrite of this story, I encourage you to check it out if you are still interested in this plot.

The rewrite is called "Coping Mechanisms"

Again thank you so much!


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